This weekend I did a stupid and terrible thing. For a full explanation, all you have to do is search for “gunnerkrigg” right here on Tumblr to see that I essentially threw away 8 years or so of work by being an idiot on Twitter. It’s better to leave the description of events to external sources, with all the hyperbole necessary to illustrate what an ass I was, because I can offer no excuse for what I did or try to reason my way out of it. Of course I cannot link to them as that was part of the problem. All I can do is apologise, which I did.
I accept that an apology is sometimes not enough, and I will not be forgiven for my mistake by a lot of people. The people I hurt have not been offered forgiveness or understanding in this world, so I should not be treated differently. Their life experiences have forced them to identify and remove anything that hurts them and, while it was certainly not my intention, I did hurt them. Life is too short, and yet so vast that nobody should tolerate that which causes them pain. My actions have caused me to be removed from those people’s lives, and that can never be undone.
That said, yesterday was pretty low for me. I felt I had two choices; continue with my life, or fucking kill myself. As someone who was recently diagnosed with severe depression, the latter was an uncomfortably closer option than it has been since I decided to seek help. However, while it might disappoint some people, I decided that a broken neck would make it difficult to work on my comic and this morning I realised I still have work to do.
As my job and livelihood relies solely on my readers, the very real scenario now is that I might not be able to continue this line of work for as long as I’d have liked. But until I am unable to ensure it, the comic will update as normal.